Oftentimes when we go into conversations with new people, do a public speaking event, or go to a function, we have the opportunity to talk to so many people. During times like these, my introverted self dreads the thought of getting tongue-tied and not knowing what to say to the person in front of me. Other times, I overthink so much that I end up staying silent instead of continuing on with the conversation. At these times I wished I had a bit of wit and to think fast on the spot when asked a question. It’s an ongoing process but here are some tips I try to implement when I am in these situations.
- Be intentional:
Once your mind starts wondering if the other person likes you or what you should say next, your brain starts overthinking, and instead of focusing on what’s at hand, it gets lost in the conversation. It’s better to handle it step by step, be very intentional, and understand where the conversation is at.
2. Reword the information and go from there
At times we are presented a situation or an idea by a person and a question posed and sometimes we don’t know what to answer right away. Something you can do is reword the situation/idea/problem/task the person is trying to convey not only to help digest the information but buy you time to formulate an answer.
3. Triple Threat Conversation Starters
Past, Present, and Future. What, so what and now what. Keep this in mind when pitching new ideas, or talking to people about a concept they haven’t heard about. When people are presented with direct and structured information, it makes it easier to digest and relate to you.
4. Divert a tricky conversation to familiar ground
The worst thing that happens is being in a conversation where you have no idea what is going on. What you can do is gently divert to the information you do know how to talk about. “Oh that’s pretty interesting, it kind of reminds me of when …”
5. Audience and Ambiance
keep in mind the people you are talking to, are they professionals, are they peers, are they social friends? Also, where are you? There are some moments where we need to be more energized and there are other moments we need to be more calm and collected.
6. Play the reverse card
When someone asks you a tough question that puts you on the spot, you can say something along the lines of Hmmm, that’s a greater question I have no idea but what do you think? It flips the conversation back to the other person and allows the flow to keep going.
Talking to people will always be something I'm working on. I think the most important thing is that practice makes perfect. Go out there and sign up for speed dating or go to that big conference, either way, these little experiences where you’re pushing yourself out of your comfort zone add up over time to help you conquer your public speaking and socializing skills.
